About Me

Let me break it down, 9 days overdue after sweeps and all the ‘tricks’ to try and bring labour on.  Labour finally starts at 9pm one evening, by 4pm the next day I finally reached 4cm and had an epidural to which my body reacted to and I was unconsious. Once I had been ‘sorted out’ my contractions almost stopped and so then induced me to which my unborn childs heart virtually stopped! A tema of men bullie dme to try ANd get a caesarian (11pm by now) and a Scottish midwife told them to shut up an go away. 
By 11;58pm I had been rushed to theatre and injected with all sorts and my baby was brought out hysterical. 
They had also cut his face so he was bleeding and screaming. But he was here I thought I will hold him and all will be ok…… 
Or so I thought. 

He cried, and he cried, and then he cried… I’d been up for days in labour and I felt like I’d drop him . The midwives said hey let us take him and you rest for a moment, 10 mins later he was back because he’d woken every baby in the special care room from screaming. 

This was the start, the start of a journey like no other and tell the early part because I believe it maks a differnce, my post natal depression kicked in and I didn’t want to be near him. I loathed my time with him because he was cosuming my all in ways I’d never known. He only slept on me upright for no more than 30 mins before screaming again, so I didn’t sleep at all. 

I crashed my car, talked in jumbles to people and sat and stared at the wall.
Sleep deprevation is NO JOKE. 

Fast forward years later he was put on reflux medication, taken to daycare at 9 months so I could sleep in he day and at the age of 2 he finally slept more than a 2 hour block.
We did medication, sleep studies where he was hooked to wires EVERYWHERE, bloods, the grommets operation, OT, Physio, Pediatician, Speech, you name it we did it, Alongside my own mental health journey. 

People were saying you need a sleep trainer. So we got one, then two then 3…

NINE….. nine is how many we tried… most were of the 60’s cry it out or a softer version of like stay in the room method… We did the public system ones (you know the one, well there are actually two) and paid so so much money to these people to just send me a PDF saying leave the room for 1 minute then 2 minutes.. they will self settle.. 

NEWS FLASH they dont self settle.. they learn helplessness! Thats so sad read that again,. They learn that your not coming so they will stop crying becuase their caregiver will not come not because they ‘learnt to settle themselves’. I can show you PUBLISHED studies where it states that the babies brain is not developed enough to work out self settling for a long time. 

I felt so guilty for this that I hug my now 7 yr old for as long as he will let me now going to sleep. 

Since then I’ve had a little girl 2 years back (5 yr age gap because I wasnt sure i could do it again from trauma) and she is a TOTAL different kid, regressions where they should be, settles appropriatly, clings when sick etc.. like a child you expect you will get when you read ‘those’ books, the odd crappy night where we co sleep but all in all a 180 on what I had 1st time around. Not to say she’s easy but I guess compared she’s easier. 

I belive I went through all that for a reason. I think it’;s because I’ve always had toles where I can helpa dn care for people and I neede to know how utterly horrible it can be to knwo how carkl a place can get for someone struggling,. 

I want to HELP.  I want to turn my pain and trauma into a positive. Thats why I’m doing this. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through and think there is no way out or cry is out is qiuicker so do that.

FYI the long tem study they did showed the adults who had that method used on them had MUCH greater anxiety than the ones who didnt.  It may work quicker but the kids quite often regress faster and at what cost do you actually want to go to. 

I wish I had know there was another way, that it could be gentle and aligned with what I wanted ie. co sleeping or rocking to sleep. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel we just need to tweak and stomp out bad habbits gently, together. 

Its UNIQUE and based around you and your family. There are no two same plans because I make it for YOU.  There should never have been a PDF send out on times your child should eat/sleep because every single human is unique. 

 And I never want any mum tor dad to forget that they and their child an totally uniue and special. 

So let me help you find a better way.